I’ve just started really getting into Facebook and want to grow my circle of online friends there. From talking with other people, it’s definitely a site that’s more fun with lots of friends. But how do I find them short of spamming everyone I know with an invitation?
One of the great things about the rise of online social network sites like Facebook is that there are capabilities these sites are giving us that we’d never be able to do in real life. Chief among them is to analyze our friend circles. Think about it this way: if Facebook has a list of all your friends and all their friends, then it’s straightforward to cross-compare and identify people who are friends with a lot of your friends but not yet friends with you.
That’s exactly what Facebook Friend Finder does, and while I admit that the majority of the people it shows me are not people I know, every so often a friend or two pops up when I look, friends who surprise me that we aren’t already connected.
Let me show you how it works, then you can try it and see if it helps you find some of your friends and acquaintances in the Facebook universe.
If you’re already logged in to Facebook right now, I’m pretty sure you can get directly to the friend finder with this link. Did it work for you?
If not, no worries, on your Facebook home page look for the friend finder link on the lower right. It probably looks like this:
but sometimes it shows you 2-3 possible friends and has a small link to “Find more friends” or similar. Either of those should lead you to the Facebook friend finder application:
I scanned through this list and saw my friend Adam Boettiger on the lower left, rather to my surprise as I thought we’d already connected here on Facebook!
To request a friend connection, I click on “Add as Friend”, which produces a pop-up window:
I believe strongly in adding a personalized message and will tell you that if you want to friend me on Facebook, I rarely accept friend requests without some brief explanation of how we know each other or why you think we should be friends (unless you’re a friend already, but even then, it’s very much a best practice). You can add one, even just 4-5 words, by clicking on “Add a personal message…”
You can see here that I added a quick, friendly message to Adam, nothing that’s too onerous but enough that he’ll recall our connection (though I suspect he remembers our friendship anyway).
Finally, click on “Add Friend” and you get:
That’s it. The friend request has been sent to the other party (Adam, in this case) and hopefully they’ll approve it and you’ll have added another friend to your Facebook circle.
Important Best Practice Suggestion: Some people seem to use friend finder to try and link to everyone that it suggests. I infer this because I get friend requests from people I don’t know who omit any personalized message. As I said earlier, I do not link to them and if you’re going to use friend finder, I also encourage you to limit your friend requests to either people who have something significant in common with you (alma mater, for example) or are actually your friends or acquaintances. Otherwise it’s just spamming and is uncool. And remember, to always, always add a personalized message to explain to the other party how you know them and/or why you think it’d be a good idea to connect.
I’d also like to let you know that I have quite a bit of Facebook help here on the site and that I also have an Ask Dave Taylor Facebook Fan Page that I invite you to join.
Looking for Cathy (Hollywood)
I would like to find if a person I know, but lives in Ireland. How could I find if they are on Facebook? Appreciate any help I could get. Thanks, Steve
i need to have real friends that i may talk to them freely
Would like the facebook find friend section
Mr. Dave Taylor Mark zuckerberg and his members of Facebook staff accused me falsely accused me from adding and sending requests to people that I don’t know that are on Facebook and I am so ticked off at Mark zuckerberg and his team on Facebook that he and his team on Facebook already temporarily suspended me only for 30 days and I don’t take kindly to the creators of Facebook for suspending me for 30 days I am not going to allow the creators of Facebook alongside with Mark Zuckerberg for doing so you may not realize this Mr. Dave Taylor I am a young person with down syndrome and I come from a family that I have inherited the origins of my mother’s maiden name and my father’s surname my mother’s maiden name is Lindsey in my mother’s maiden name is Scottish and my father’s surname which is Irish the three people that I had inherited that hot temperament side of my mother’s family background happens to have a very hot temperament side of people that are from Scotland and my father’s side of his family starts with his mother whom happens to be an Irish lass and there are people that are from Ireland that really are gentle people so as to see Mr. dave Taylor please I need your help so please e-mail me if you get the chance thank you
i need to find real friends and talk with them
i want to friend how the get friend i chat be answear bat not answear how to reply me other replyother not reply how to be respeact to my honor i can not honor to my facebook there not trush how trush to facebook inot hope
i only want to meet new friends from england, usa, canada and barbados, i will see where it goes from there
i like friendship.
i like to talk to my friends.
I would like to be a friend of you for shearing ideas,i m a student of st Augustine university,THEN KS
tanks for you help!!, nice guy
pleace i need frineds
want to chat with my friends
cant find any of my pals and i am really fed up of being lonely ever since i joined facebook. please somebdy…anybody be my friend!
Yes, i don’t have anything to say but to wish you good Easter holiday
I do not have the right to add more friends. I have been warned for misusing of features and that my account will be blocked. In fact i was just adding new friends.
So pleasle help me.
Regards,
Jean Pascal
Nicely written Dave !! A lot of help for beginners using facebook.