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How do I Actually Delete Facebook Friend Requests?

Ever since Facebook decided that I can't "delete" friend requests, just defer the decision until another time, I have been accumulating a lot of these unfriended friends. Mostly it's spammers, but it's also friends of my ex that I just don't want to know about. My question: in the new Facebook, how do I actually *delete* friend requests permanently??


Dave's Answer:

You're spot on with your question: it was about mid-2010 that Facebook decided that the two choices for responding to a friend request shouldn't be "confirm" or "delete" but instead "confirm" or "I'll think about it and answer later, if I can find where these saved requests are actually stored in Facebook". (okay, that's probably not how they were thinking about it, but that's what it's ended up being)

I don't really get it, truth be told. When I see a friend request, I either respond favorably or negatively to it, I don't need to think about it or ask a few other friends whether they're in the cabal or not. So why have the intermediate step?

We might never know. All we can do is figure out how to work with Facebook so we can try and keep our friend pool reasonably pure, right?

Let's start from the top, though. Here I am on Facebook and I have two visible indicators that I have some friend requests pending:

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 1

You can see here that there are two places it's showing "9" pending friend requests, one on the top left, and the other on the left list of areas (the latter of which I've highlighted). Click on the top element and a menu pops down with a summary of names and friend options:

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 2

At this point if I see someone I recognize, I can click "Confirm" right within the menu, as I've done with Kathy Druckman. The result, still within the menu:

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 3

Instead of going through these one-by-one, however, click on "See All Friend Requests" and we'll be able to find the rejected and deferred friends too.

At this point, there's a bit more information on each friend request. For this demo, I'm going to defer, and then delete, the friend requests from Nathan:

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 4

When I click on "Not Now" (which used to be "Delete") what happens?

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 5

Rather than having to defer a friend request as a way to find the deferred "not now" Facebook friend requests, there's a better way to find them: scroll down to the bottom of the page of friend requests and look on the lower left. In small print is:

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 6

Click on "See Hidden Requests" and suddenly all the deferred requests from people to become your friends on Facebook appear:

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 7

I could go through the nine one-at-a-time to ensure that I haven't missed a legitimate friend in the rabble and spam, but I'm lazy so I'll just give everyone the boot. To accomplish that, I'm going to click on the "Delete all hidden requests" link on the top right of the hidden area.

Facebook confirms that's really what I want to do. I mean, rejecting possible friends? :-)

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 8

That's the path I want to take, karma be damned, so I click on "OK":

facebook delete unfriended friend requests 9

That's it. Those nine potential friends who I just wanted to forget about are now gone from my life. Quickly and (relatively) easily done.


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Comments (3) · Add Comment

Thanks, I thought it would be as simple as selecting your friends and hitting deleting.

Posted by: brock at November 1, 2010 4:37 AM

dear Dave
You answer was the best, you did it and save me from these friend requests.
God help you to delete your problems in life

Posted by: Ali Aslan at January 27, 2011 8:55 PM

fore some reason after I except my requests then i can't delete them so i hope you can help me with this
Thank You
Clinton Williams

Posted by: Clinton Williams at June 5, 2011 2:11 PM
Starbucks coffee cup I do have a lot to say, and questions of my own for that matter, but first I'd like to say thank you for all your efforts on this Web site by buying you a cup of coffee!

I do have a comment, now that you mention it!











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